Parenting

Today, rogue woman and I took my baby out to the park. It's nice and huge and I like it. My angel's eyes got surprise to see a squirrel for the first time ( actually, that includes me too!). It's a shame we didn't have plenty of time to go around, the sun was glaring and it's obvious my daughter wasn't used to it. She wanted to go down and play so we took her to the playground! She really had fun. I just let her do her thing. My daughter is just one year and 6 months, and in this stage, they tend to explore things around them and find out what it is. She quite belong to the stage of the Terrible Two's now. Although she's young for her age but I, as a mother noticed it myself and it's part of growing. I'd like to share the theory of the Ego-Psychologist, who actually influenced me in my parenting as a new mother. Aside from learning it in school, I have a first-hand experience which make me realize how this theory aid me in my daily living with my daughter.



I know it's hard when you wanna do things for yourself yet you are being reminded of your limits as a mother. You put your child as your priority over anything else in this world no matter what happens. In as much as you don't want them to get physically hurt by playing around, you also want them to develop their own personality with the environment around them. They stumble, they get up on their own. They get hurt, they cry, and they're fine. Of course, you don't wanna be overly insensitive and just leave them crying, that's why when they get hurt, you can do this sometimes, but not all the time, you simply let them know you care about them and give them a hug, a kiss, and make them aware that it's gonna be alright!.. This way, they know they are being loved, and it's how they develop trust and feel safe.



Although "No" is a good word to use in disciplining your child, I wanna make sure I don't tend to use them too often, in a way i don't sound monotonous to my child. They have short-term memory. They understand the word no, and they listen to you, but they are too young to really understand why they should not do it. In the long run, you end up saying "no" more than ten times over the same issue, and it becomes a fun game for them. Seriously, they think it's fun, you wanna try it? You put one thing you don't want them to hold, you say the word "NO", they stop, after a second, they come back, you say "NO" again, and so on and so fort, they end up playing around, thinking that saying "NO" is okay after all. Here's a tip, you get rid of that certain "thing" as much as possible and just distract your child! Remember, they have short-term memories, they easily forget. If they cry, let them cry, I am telling you it's fine, let them experience their own small world with their own small personal issues. Let them experience pain in their own little way.



I put limitations in her. If she throws out temper tantrum, I ignore her. When she stops, that's when i come near her and hug her. Believe me, i love my daughter so much. Sometimes, I can't stand her crying, so I give myself enough time, till I finally take her with me and console her. Most often than not, she end up stop crying, thinking, her crying doesn't manipulate me at all. That's their only expressions of frustration, they can't speak, they can only show so much emotions by crying. And if they do, never attempt to stop them, because if you do, when they grow up, they fail to exercise Autonomy and end up feeling guilty ( thinking that whatever they do is wrong) just ignore them. DO NOT SPOIL YOUR CHILD!



I also want to let her be so long as she is safe. She can eat foods that are acceptable in her taste buds, otherwise she will spit it out. I give her a little bit of everything. I want her to enjoy and be happy. I don't wanna put so much rules wherein that rules only satisfy me. It's unfair to my child. So here's a rule for both of us: she can do things while I watch her do it so long as it's safe, she can eat whatever she wants so long as she does not take someone else's food and be selfish and not eat too much of it to the point of being unhealthy. One thing i learned for the past one year and 6 months of being a new mother is feeding your baby a little bit of everything, that way, when you feed her something new and different, she readily accepts it without complaining. Why? because she's used to it. It's like living life, when you are used to life's struggle, you are ready for any challenge, and in the long run, it gives you strength.

I am not a perfect mother, but I wanna nurture my child and give her the chance to live her own small world. I want her to develop a good personality and that can only be achieved by good and right parenting.


Here's a guide to my favorite ego-psychologist:

http://www.learningplaceonline.com/stages/organize/Erikson.htm